South Park: The Stick of Truth

I’ve played a lot of games in mind time, but nothing quite like this one.

South Park: The Stick of Truth is a single player game with RPG mechanics set in the wonderfully imaginative and crude world of South Park.

Join the usual cast of character, Stan, Cartman, Butters, Kyle, and Kenny as you battle through hordes of elves, mutant bacteria, Nazi Zombies, and Hobos all in hopes of retrieving the all mighty “Stick of Truth”.

At surface level this might appear to be just another series trying to rake in money by making a videogame, however in comparison to the infamous E.T. game. South Park: The Stick of Truth, deserves your money!

Here’s why:

Immersive World with tons of things to do:

This game is large! I mean, 20 + hours of content. Hard enemies that will keep you on your toes, tons of quests to complete all over South Park, and a cast of characters that is not only fun to play with, but are immensely funny.

Playing this game feels just like being inside an episode of the animated show. The cut scenes

are top notch. The character animations are of very high quality, and the story is just insane, filled with tones of twist and turns.

It’s hard to write about such a story heavy game without spoiling things, but when you’re aboard a spaceship getting rammed up the bum by alien space dildos, it’s hard to keep it a secret.

I mean come on, Mr.Slave’s summon is borderline pornographic, and Jesus Christ comes from the heavens to save you with some heavenly artillery.

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It can’t get better than that… Oh wait, yes it can!

Fast Action Turn-Based Combat with a Spark

I’m not a huge fan of RPG’s mainly because I hate all the random encounters and the amount of stats one has to keep track of just to know if you’ll survive the next battle, and the waiting! Oh, I hate the waiting.

South Park: The Stick of Truth, manages to deliver a simple, concise and fun battle system that is very much inline with old RPG’s but it’s much faster, coupled with the faction action button presses that determine how much damage you’ll make or if you can defend from the attack. This is hands down, the best combat system I’ve had the pleasure of using in any RPG to date.

This game being a story somewhat rooted in Fantasy lore, has the basic classes of any RPG. A thief, a warrior, a magician, your standard stuff, but oh boy is it not standard at all.

You have 3 bars,: the health, a power bar that allows you to preform stronger attacks called abilities, and a mana bar that revolves around, literally your butt.

Eat a burrito, and watch as those potent beans fester in your stomach to deliver a nasty blow to your opponent senses.

Give me 1 Final Fantasy that shows debufs by literally putting people on fire, having them bleed out or puke their innards during combat because of how nasty your magical fart was. Didn’t think so.

If you need a refresher on what a good battle system is, you need to pick up this game. I promise that you will enjoy every second of it. I still find myself going back to it, just to study the Battle System. That’s how good it is. I wish I could give personal thanks to whoever built it. I want to be like them when I grow up.

All jokes aside, this game features a wide array of enemies, bosses, and weapons that will have you clamping at the bits for more.

Gross but Great

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If you’ve made it this far, you deserve to see this nutsack. You do, it’s your accomplishment for being such a great reader.

This game is so set on making you feel like you are in an episode that the comedy gags extend into the mechanics itself. This screenshot you see above is an actual in-game fight scene with a boss that happens to be fighting you while your parents are having sex.

Horrible mental picture, I know. I got grossed out while I was typing, but I swear that when you play during the scene you’ll be laughing right out of your chair.

Everyone in the game has something to tell you, and they are all hilarious. From the lady at the corner that urges you to get a plastic nose surgery, to the alcoholic piece of poop that lives in the sewer and needs you to find her son. The writer is 100% in-line with the show. You can can imagine how much thought, passion and dedication went into this project from the amount of cleverness each line of dialogue, each cutscene and each boss fight has. You will be laughing the whole way through.

It’s Gross but Great.

Leveling System like no other

Unlike most games; in this one you do not only level up from defeating enemies and completing quests. You can also level up something call your perks based on the amount of characters you make friends with. More friends equal better perks, and in a high stake battle against the Mongolian Horde of the Tower of Peace, this can mean life or death.

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Each character is excited to interact with you, and their dialogue and sometimes missions make it a true delight to go around South Park talking with everyone. Even the lame ticket box attendant is fun to interact with.

PS: You can fart on everyone! XD

Weapons Galore

This cast of fourth graders have no concern for safety. Use a bat, an axe, a sword, or a pink vibrating dildo to work your way through increasingly difficult battles against all sorts of enemies.

You can also customize your character’s style. With armor, hats, and gloves that not only affect the way you perform in battle but also look super stylish.

South Park: The Stick of Truth deserves all the praise it’s gotten and more. So pick it up next time you get a chance and let me know how you liked it in the comments section below.

 

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