Reciprocal Relationships

Learning a lot about myself and the people around me. Starting to realize how my own boundaries were quite shaky which made it easy to get hurt.

One thing I wasn’t expecting to see was how if I distanced myself from other they wouldn’t come back. Shaky foundation for relationships when they are not reciprocal. That’s alright though lately it feels like it’s something that needs to happen. Perhaps I need to let go of the half assed relationships to give way to friendships that are more meaningful, more intense, more real and for the love of God, I hope they’re more reciprocal too.

Giving in to non reciprocal energy transfers is so draining. Then you look back and wonder why you feel so tired and alone but you don’t realize that you’ve given all this energy and all this time to relationships that give nothing back. You can’t give all the time. It’s a balance between giving and receiving, if you give too much you’ll be empty. If you receive too much you grow complacent. A balance must be achieved in your relationships in order to stay healthy.

Finding that balance in my relationships is my goal right now. To find that balance I choose to stop giving until I find people worth giving too.

I know what I want, and so should you.

Present friends, honorable folk, loving people, respectful allies, a community that appreciated and enjoys me for who I am and what I am able to give, a family that makes me feel safe, loved and welcome always.

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